Needsleep259’s Weblog

We went to a new pizza place that bragged about ‘New York Style’ and sloshed our way out afterwards. No, we weren’t drunk, just soaking wet and humiliated – at least I was. At least the pizza was good for a change, this being the first place we found that earned their right to brag, with so many others  apparently never having tasted NY pizza before. But let me explain just why we don’t eat out.

We were on our way to the park and decided to eat in for a change. We usually stick to the kind of food you can have in the car, and pizza is difficult, so in we go. We were pleased to see other children there, which was a lapse with reality, because while the pizza may have been New Yorkish, the children were definitely raised up in the more genteel South, which meant they were well mannered. Our Gia can be well mannered too, though only when she is calm and well focused. Once we hit our seats, her brain got chaotic and we had our hands full. Not full of pizza either, since it took an unreal amount of time to make it to our booth.

First, Gia wanted to play the change parent game, which is the one where she sees how many times she can scoot across the table to get to the other parent. Strike one. Then there was the knock the fake ivy dangling behind Mommy around game, which was strike two. Strike three came up rapidly when she gave a blood curdling scream because we put a stop to the first two games. And this was just the warm-up for what was to come.

We finally get the pizza, ( for her we had ordered it to be lukewarm and cut up), with the promise that ours would be along soon. I swear my finger almost blistered from the burn that occurred when I touched a piece. When ours arrived, you would think the heat of them would melt the table. I then took a sip of soda and found it to be flat, so we asked for another. The server returns with it and Gia in her eagerness to get a drink, ignores the no, wait a minute instruction, and pushes the extra large glass over. All over Daddy, who is definitely not amused. A nice young man comes over and cleans it all up, brings a third drink, which daddy, in his eagerness to get it, pushes over. All over Mommy, who is so embarrassed at this point, and wondering if people will ever stop staring. No, they keep right on looking, with all their well behaved children, looking kind of smug if you ask me.

We take a few bites, while Gia knocks hers on the floor. At this point, we tip the server, the cleanup kid and leave, with every eye in the place on us. My pants are drenched, front, back and down the legs. My shirt and coat are also soaked. My husbands shirt,sweatshirt, and pants are wet. Amazing how far a glass or two of soda can spread. In all this we almost overlook how much Gia needs reassurance, which becomes apparent when she starts repeating over and over that it’s all her fault, which she most likely picked up from one of her beloved videos. We manage to calm her and make it seem that skipping the park was okay because Mommy and Daddy were too wet to go, then we head home. As we change our clothes, we remind ourselves that there are perfectly good reasons why we don’t eat out, and we cringe a little thinking about the upcoming holiday dinner we are celebrating elsewhere. Uh-oh. Well, there is one thing I have contol over – note to self: keep beverages out of reach of husband and child………..